


Torn Paper Heart

by EmeraldandSilver



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-sided Yuriyuu, Otabek is 20, Otabek's POV, Pining, Yuri is 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:32:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldandSilver/pseuds/EmeraldandSilver
Summary: Otabek and Yuri have been dating for almost three months, but their relationship is progressing slowly. Ever since he lost to Yuuri Katsuki at Worlds, Yuri has been acting more and more depressed. Otabek has no idea why until he notices that Yuri's feelings towards Yuuri Katsuki may be more than just rivals.





	

“ _Why won't you kiss me?”_ Otabek Altin thinks these words every time he kisses Yuri Plisetsky. In his dorm room at Yakov's training camp.In the locker room at the rink after practice. In Yuri's apartment down the street. In the dimly lit movie theater during one of their rare dates. Otabek kisses Yuri's cheeks, his forehead, his ears, his hands...but never his lips.

Not that he's never tried, but Yuri always turns his head or says it's time to do something else. And Yuri never kisses him back, not even a peck on the cheek. They've been dating for almost three months. Since shortly after Yuri took silver at Worlds.

Otabek still isn't sure why Yuri cried so much after Worlds. He'd lost to Yuuri Katsuki, but it wasn't a surprise to anyone. They'd been neck-and-neck ever since Victor Nikiforov retired, though Yuri had consistently taken gold at the Grand Prix Final and Worlds for the last two years. It was only a matter of time before Yuuri scored higher.

Otabek barged into Yuri's hotel room days later, planning to force him to stop moping, but when he saw Yuri's tear-stained face, all he could do was comfort him. The night had been spent holding Yuri while he cried and whispering reassurances.

The love confession was an accident, though Otabek initially planned to ask him out right after Worlds. Yuri hesitated only a moment before telling him yes.

But they didn't kiss that night. Or any of the days after. Really, there isn't much difference between their friendship and their relationship. It stills feels like they're just friends.

Otabek signed up for Yakov's training camp this summer, thinking that it would be good chance to change things, a chance to get a real kiss from Yuri. But Yuri was so distracted lately. He messed up often in class, and he consistently performed below Yuuri Katsuki. Was he psyching himself out?

Yuri worries easily, so Otabek wonders if he thinks he'll keep losing to Yuuri Katsuki. How can he give up after only one defeat? This isn't the soldier he's loved all this time. He misses the Yuri that takes no compromises, that tries his hardest, that becomes a beautiful monster on the ice.

However, Otabek doesn't want to give up on Yuri. He's determined to get him back on track. Today. He'll talk to Yuri about it today. And if Yuri can't get back on track, Otabek will comfort him again. He'll do whatever he can to cheer up his boyfriend.

Otabek walks into the foyer of the dorm, resolve in his strong steps, but a hand tapping his shoulder stops him. He turns to see a short bald man holding out a letter.

“Otabek Altin?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“This arrived for you today.” He hands the letter to Otabek, then scurries away.

Otabek sighs inwardly. Not for the first time, he wishes he didn't look so intimidating. He's not even that tall, but his presence is larger than life. At least, that's what he's been told.

He drags his thumb under the seal of the envelope, and pulls out a thick card-stock letter. The words are embossed in gold script.

_'Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki request the honor of your presence at their marriage on the thirtieth of July at twelve o'clock at the Renaissance Hotel, St. Petersburg, Russia.'_

The letter shakes in Otabek's hands as everything clicks into place. He'd almost forgotten Victor's proposal all those years ago. _“We'll get married once he wins gold.”_ Yuuri finally won gold at a major competition. That's why Yuri was crying so much after his loss at Worlds. He didn't just lose gold. He lost Yuuri.

How long has Yuri been fighting with that goal in mind? How many times has he pushed himself harder than he should have in order to stop this marriage from happening? How does it feel to watch the person you love be coached by someone they love day after day?

And how heartbroken would Yuri feel after receiving this wedding invitation in the mail?

Otabek sprints down the hallway and out the front door. He needs to find Yuri and comfort him. Yuri can't be alone during this time. At just the idea this might happen, he cried for days. What will he do now that it's really happening?

...

At Yuri's apartment, Otabek bangs on the door, but no one answers.

The neighbor pops his head out. “Ah, Otabek, was it? Yuri left maybe ten minutes ago.”

Otabek's stomach drops. “Did he seem upset?”

“Now that you mention it, he did look a bit pale.”

“Where was he heading?” Otabek demands. His usual mask of apathy is shattered. Only worry and determination fill him. He's got to find Yuri...before it's too late.

“He said something about Potseluev Bridge. It's across the Moyka River.”

“I know the place. Thank you.” Otabek sprints down the street, shoving past people walking, barely getting in his apologies. Potseluev Bridge. A popular spot for lovers. Its name literally means “bridge of kisses.” What could Yuri be doing there?

…

Otabek reaches the bridge and panics. Yuri is nowhere to be seen. He runs across the sidewalk anyway, searching, trying his hardest to keep his worst fears from taking over.

Then he sees him. Crouched next to one of the pillars on the opposite side. His hoodie obscures his face, but Otabek would know that long, pale-blond hair anywhere.

He runs across the street, dodging cars, which honk at him as irritated voices shout. He ignores them all, his attention focused like a laser beam.

“Yuri!”

The blond looks up, startled. His eyes are red and puffy, his hair hanging loose and disheveled.“What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you, idiot.”

Yuri chuckles. “Idiot? That's my line.” But he isn't directing it at Otabek. He lowers his gaze and rests his chin on his knees, no doubt losing himself to memories.

Otabek sits down next to him. The metal bars of the bridge dig into his arm. “I know,” he announces.

“Know what?” Yuri traces his finger along the side of the pillar. He's obviously bored and doesn't care that Otabek ran all this way to find him. In fact, he probably thinks it's stupid.

Otabek reaches over and grasps Yuri's hands. He pulls him in so he's forced to look into his brown eyes. “I know that you have feelings for Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuri averts his eyes, but he can't hide the blush. “I don't. I'm going out with you, aren't I?”

Otabek studies him closely. If his theory on Yuri's crush wasn't true, Yuri would have gotten angry or laughed, but he's quiet, reserved. And the pain is evident in his hunched-over posture and his inability to meet Otabek's gaze. Really, he's so easy to read.

“Stop lying.”

Panic flashes across Yuri's face, and he shakes his head vigorously. “I'm not lying,” he says, almost like it's a question. It sounds more like he's trying to convince himself.

“Lie to yourself all you want, but don't lie to me. Please.”

Tears trickle down Yuri's face as he stares at Otabek, then crumples into himself. His tears turn into body-shaking sobs. “I'm sorry,” he chokes out. “I can't help it. Believe me. If I could stop these feelings, I would. God, it hurts so much.”

Otabek strokes Yuri's hair, as if he's petting a frightened cat. He says nothing while Yuri explains how he's always been enchanted by Yuuri's skating, especially his step sequence, but he didn't realize his feelings went beyond that until much later. And by that time, Victor had already stolen Yuuri's heart.

“Do you want to break up?” Otabek asks. He doesn't want to, but if it would make Yuri feel better, he can deal with being apart. They can go back to just friends. At least...he thinks they can.

Yuri blinks at Otabek, then punches him in the face.

Otabek clutches his cheek, surprised.

“How can you say that? Just because I still have feelings for Yuuri doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you!” Yuri screams. “God, I'm in love with you. My feelings for Yuuri bring nothing but misery. You make the pain bearable. _You_ bring me happiness.”

“You're in love with me?” Otabek has never heard the word _love_ cross Yuri's lips before, and he's restrained himself from saying it because he didn't think Yuri loved him yet.

“Of course! Isn't it obvious?”

“I don't understand. You've never even kissed me.”

“That's because I've been fighting a war against myself,” Yuri says, his tone sounding more like the hardened soldier.Otabek can't look away from his piercing gaze. A moment passes, then Yuri continues. “If I let myself kiss you, I'll be giving myself over to you completely. I'll forget about Yuuri.”

“Isn't that what you want, though?”

Yuri sighs. “It should be, but feelings aren't that simple. Part of me still wants to hold on to him. So I've been afraid to more forward with you.”

“Victor and Yuuri are getting married.”

“I know.” Yuri pulls out a handful of ripped-up scraps of paper. The wedding invitation.

“It's time to let go of him.” Even though Otabek says the words, he's terrified that Yuri will turn him down. That Yuri will keep holding on to this crush and let the pain of it make him more depressed day by day. He doesn't want to see that, his beautiful Yuri turning into a shadow of a person. “Please.”

“I should do it for you, shouldn't I?”

Otabek shakes his head. “No, you should do it for _you_. Let yourself be happy.”

Yuri's eyes widen as if he's understanding something for the first time. “Yuuri has been an important part of my life for so long. Because of him, I've become a better skater. He's been my source of inspiration. But he won't always be skating with me. He'll retire soon, and I can't just stop skating when he does.” Yuri closes his fist around the paper scraps. “I need to find a new source of inspiration, a new reason to fight. Otherwise...I'll never win again.”

There he is. The soldier Otabek has missed all this time.

“Yura,” Otabek says, lifting Yuri's chin so he can gaze into his eyes. “You've been my source of inspiration for far longer than Yuuri has been yours. Since we met eight years ago. So, please, let me give you inspiration in return.”

Yuri laughs lightly. “Thank you, Beka.” Then he tosses the ripped-up wedding invitation through the bars of the bridge, and leans in close to kiss Otabek. “Let's inspire each other.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt by @sageandginger: "otabek telling yuri he knows about his crush on yuuri? I was thinking that maybe Yuri’s trying to convince himself (and Otabek) that he likes Otabek (and therefore not Yuuri) and Otabek is like, ‘I don’t know what you’re trying to do but I’m not an idiot??” Although if you had a different idea that works fine, that’s why I left it pretty open-ended at first."


End file.
